day seven | An explanation.

Halfway through this series you are probably struggling to understand what the hell is going on. Let me attempt to explain myself.

To fully but succinctly detail the rabbit hole that has led me to book a one way ticket to Europe and overshare with the internet for fourteen straight days before I leave the country, you need to first know two things about me.

  1. I have a bad case of itchy feet, and
  2. I have trouble letting go.

On day ten you may have noticed my attempt to explain why I struggle to detach from the things in my life, and perhaps sometime in the next six days I try to impress upon you just how itchy these trotters really are.

The trouble is, these two characteristics – itchy feet and attachment issues – are not successful comrades. They are constantly at war with each other: first luring me out of comfortable places, then making it excruciatingly difficult to simply walk away.

They are at odds with each other, playing on opposite ends of the court in a game they are both equally determined to win. My feet want me to run, escape, adventure. But my fingers are stuck to the possessions that I have hauled through most of my adult life.

This is my attempt at a solution to this conflict. Perhaps, I thought to myself, I could sate both desires at the same time. I could plan to travel and let go of many of my things, and to ease the incoming mourning I would take a moment every day to acknowledge them. Whether by poem or prose, I could use my writing to help me let go and move on.

I’m not sure if it has been a successful venture. For one thing, I still feel like I own a whole lot of stuff. But one small success is that I am writing, and sharing said writing.

For as long as I can remember, writing has been the secret love of my life. Some of the people close to me have known about this love, but I cannot recall at anytime before this (bar the How to Henna post) actually published and invited people to read it.

Honestly, sharing anything you have created feels distinctly like getting naked in front of all the people you know.

But I am proud that I have finally done this. I hope that you (whoever you are) have enjoyed it so far. If you haven’t, if you are in the midst of an absolute hate-read and you are at present considering all the ways you could revenge troll me, I suppose I am sorryNotsorry. This was never meant for you.

If you are enjoying this series or even just here to discover how poor my writing really is, stick around. There are six more of these puppies to come, and hopefully they won’t be the last you hear from me.

Thus ends a semi-brief summary of fourteen days.

Until next time, bear with me,

Jess x

 

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